The loss!!
Those who haven’t lost somebody very close to them would never understand the pain of the people who have gone through it.
I have gone through it, having lost my father.
It was a wound that would be fresh through out my life. It has been eight months since then; and it is still hard to believe that he is no more. I couldn’t see him in his last minutes. Perhaps this might be the reason why do I find it hard to believe it.
A call at 6.30 AM in the morning would never be the same again. A flight to Vizag would never be the same again. And add to it the endless hours I spent at the Railway station waiting for a train to pass by, so that I might get home as quickly as possible.
The journey from the main gate to my mother’s room was like a year’s journey to me. My heart bled after looking her swollen eyes and plain forehead. She used to like red sarees and bright bangles. Her forehead used to shimmer in sindoor.
Today back home, nothing is as before. I get reminded of my father in every little thing in the house. Those suppressed tears in my mother’s eyes make me shiver. Eyes which are speechless yet they speak volumes.
Today, I have a small kid whose presence should be making me happy. And I have a loving wife. But the pain of loss of my father far more supersedes the joy I should be feeling for the birth of my daughter.
Sometimes, I feel the person within me unable to have that range of emotions to share with my mother, and my wife and kid. I feel unable be happy and unhappy at the same time. Here I have a woman in my life for whom there is nobody besides me and another woman for whom I mean the world. My world would never be the same again.Yet, life goes on.
I have gone through it, having lost my father.
It was a wound that would be fresh through out my life. It has been eight months since then; and it is still hard to believe that he is no more. I couldn’t see him in his last minutes. Perhaps this might be the reason why do I find it hard to believe it.
A call at 6.30 AM in the morning would never be the same again. A flight to Vizag would never be the same again. And add to it the endless hours I spent at the Railway station waiting for a train to pass by, so that I might get home as quickly as possible.
The journey from the main gate to my mother’s room was like a year’s journey to me. My heart bled after looking her swollen eyes and plain forehead. She used to like red sarees and bright bangles. Her forehead used to shimmer in sindoor.
Today back home, nothing is as before. I get reminded of my father in every little thing in the house. Those suppressed tears in my mother’s eyes make me shiver. Eyes which are speechless yet they speak volumes.
Today, I have a small kid whose presence should be making me happy. And I have a loving wife. But the pain of loss of my father far more supersedes the joy I should be feeling for the birth of my daughter.
Sometimes, I feel the person within me unable to have that range of emotions to share with my mother, and my wife and kid. I feel unable be happy and unhappy at the same time. Here I have a woman in my life for whom there is nobody besides me and another woman for whom I mean the world. My world would never be the same again.Yet, life goes on.
posted by IndianTerrain at 9:07 PM
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